New Kind of Training

Although it's "off" season for training for any races, there is some new training happening. Training of the mind :) Just a few days ago, I realized something very important about myself, and it took me, well, all my life up to this point to figure it out...

I have had several moments where I'd feel upset or even mad, even though I knew there wasn't any reason to feel this way. I'm pretty focused, I take good care of myself, I'm aware when I'm not balanced, and I do the work to get back on track, but for some reason there was always this return to "disconnect." Saturday and into Sunday was a pivotal turning point in realizing why this was happening.

The event started to unfold in front of me late Saturday night, and I removed myself from this event, because it wasn't mine. I was so proud of myself, because I felt good doing it. However, the longer I waited in the vehicle the more upset I became. I struggled with this feeling throughout the night and into the morning. Why was I upset? I did what was good for me. Why can't I be thankful for how I handled the events happening in front of me? The universe was not going to let me get to sleep until I figured this out. Sometime really late in the morning, I just stopped all the chatter in my head, and asked for guidance. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm pretty impatient. I like things to happen quickly, but I didn't rush this one. I couldn't. I wanted to sleep!

It was never anger. It was worry.

When I worry, I become upset. It was always my way of making sure nobody knew that I was capable of worry or fear or failure or whatever "inferior" element I could connect to myself. I laughed at myself at 4:00 a.m., knowing that I had just threw out the biggest piece of garbage in my backpack. I'll tell you that was a lot of baggage to pack around.

Now I know that I do that, and I can redirect my thoughts when I feel those emotions enter into my experience. I now ask myself, "What am I worrying about? Why am I worried about that? What can I focus on to remind myself that I have nothing to fear?" The journey is supposed to be beautiful, fun, and joyous. I'm training my mind to think differently, and it's been a wonderful blessing. The results are the proof that our thoughts hold so much power for how our lives unfold. My results?

• I look at the people in my life with more love than I did before. I have nothing to worry about when it comes to my husband, my children, my friends. Worry held me back in my ability to love, because it always came out as anger. They get more patience from me, freedom to be exactly the people they want to be, and the verbal "thank-yous" are filling our household at a rapid rate!
• I am more appreciative of the woman I was always meant to be. I'm learning about my spirit, my purpose, and why I'm a "human being" and NOT a "human doing." 
• I'm motivated to continue my off season training. I'm excited to think about what races await me next Spring and summer.
• I've even started losing those last few pounds that were just kind of hanging around, like my worry was doing.
• Really, I'm just happy for knowing that I can do it differently. Everyone benefits when someone is happy :)

"I" is mentioned here a lot. I wanted to share this because I think many can relate to this. We believe that it's natural to worry, but it's not. If you focus on you (the "I" in your life), sort through some of your backpack and see what you're packing on your journey, you'll find you. The fun part is that the sorting never ends, and we get to learn about ourselves more and more if we're willing to take the time to look at our stuff.

I'm thankful for the people who come into my life and help me create events and moments when I get to learn something very valuable about myself. I'm thankful that I can love at a larger capacity than I was just a week ago, and I get to keep building on that.

Good luck on whatever you're training for! It's all fun :) I've got one last little race on Thanksgiving. I'm coming for you "Turkey Trot."

Sarah (aka Mom of Four)

Got some pics of the 10K!

Before the race! Here I am with Jared. Both he and Cora came along to cheer me on and spend a day in Casper.

I was a little nervous! This was my first 10K. It was also my first race with my new AWESOME shoes.

This is a fun picture. I love that the kids were there. I think it's important to set good examples for children. I hope they learn that setting goals, taking care of themselves, and doing what they love is always the way to be. Thanks for cheering me on kiddos :)

Running through the finish line. I could hear those steps behind me, and there was no way I was going to let them pass me at the end. What a great motivator to help me run the fastest race time yet, 48:56.

DONE! I supported a wonderful cause and took good care of myself. Trying to catch my breath here, but I really felt great afterward.

Thanks for taking these pictures for me, Jill! Your support is always amazing to me. You're pretty amazing :)

You know how I love my quotes and things that keep me thinking. Here is what came across my plate today...

What does it feel like in your body when you are doing what you love? Grow that feeling muscle so that each time you feel it, you know you are on the right path. What fills you up? What drives your passion? If you had a magic wand and could sweep it over your life, what would you ideally be doing and, more importantly, what would it feel like? ~Healing with the Masters

Happy Fall! Wishing you fulfillment every day.

Sarah (aka Mom of Four)

Why Race?

I rolled over to look at the clock this morning to see it reading 5:00 a.m. For the next hour, I tossed around and struggled with how I handled blogging about my race yesterday. I was so wrapped up in how I performed that I lost focus of what and who the race was for and why I did it in the first place.

The 10k, known as "Support Your Girls," is put on to support the Make a Wish Foundation. Yesterday, I stood in the shade, mixed in with people of all ages, listening to how we were racing for a local girl, whose only wish was to go see the Boston Celtics. We were running to help send her there. During the final mile of the 10K, when I was starting to feel tired, the pain in my side had increased, and I was ready to be done, because I had pushed my body farther than I ever had before, I remembered this child. I have nothing to complain about, and I felt selfish for thinking I did.

Within my hour of tossing, turning, and light tears, I was wondering if I was being selfish for blogging about how well I did, or if I was becoming self-absorbed. I had started this blog to let others know that we are all capable of great things. Had I lost sight of this? How were others viewing my blog? Was my purpose being met? Then, a question came to me that made me stop all other thoughts, "Why race?" as if someone was whispering in my ear to get me back on track and take a look at myself and my purpose. 

Yesterday, I raced "just because" and "it's for a good cause." It's more than that. I raced for someone. With every stride, every hit of the pavement, I was contributing to someone's wish--a child's dream. My original goal on this journey was to become fit emotionally and physically. Now, I want to race to maintain where I am at. Finding races that support other people and give back to the community is a great balance. I reached a point this morning where I realized it's okay to be proud of myself, and in this powerful personal experience, I also gave to a child who will have her own powerful personal experience. I have the shirt with Rosie the Riveter tattooed with the Boston Celtics emblem to remind me that "We Can Do It." We can race for ourselves, we can race for each other, we can race to support others, and we can do it all in the same experience.

So, if you're ever asking yourself, "Why race?" maybe try racing for a cause. You'll never regret it.

Sarah (aka Mom of Four)

A first! Not emotional until now :)

I have no pictures or anything, but I have to blog about a huge first for me. I ran my first 10K race today in Casper, WY. I had a goal of completing in 55 minutes.

The results...

I completed in 48:56, which puts me running 7:53 minute miles. I broke 8 minute miles. I can't believe it! I'm so dumbfounded that I did this. The race was beautiful. About two miles in, a woman I had never met before ran up behind me and said, "Isn't it a beautiful day?" With my reply of "yes," we ran together the remainder of the race discussing ourselves, family, goals, what got us started running, and the like. She pushed me until the end. This woman was sent to me for a reason. Airica, thank you! You showed me more of myself. If it not for her, I would not have this incredible race time. Thank you to my good friend, Jill, for encouraging me to do the race "just because." My world has been opened up even more.

Now, I'm asking myself. What's next? What can I do now? I feel limitless.

Watch for your angels :) They are here and waiting to come into your experience at the most perfect and beautiful moments. When you hand it all over, you'll find so much you didn't even know was there.

What an experience! Thanks for the space to let me share.

Sarah (aka Mom of Four)

Relay to the Tetons? Yes, please!

I can't believe it has been a month since I raced with "2 Dozen Scrambled Legs" in the Grand Teton Relay, and I have yet to blog about it! It was such an amazing experience, truly, more than I could have imagined. The honesty train has to come out here, of course :)

My sister and I had come across the race, and we really wanted to do it. Neither one of us really knew 10 other people who would want to do it. Lucky for me, I posted it on Facebook, asking people if they would want to race. No response...boo :( However, the next day, I was asked if we would want to race on a team from Riverton that was already started. After I said, yes, I started to have my doubts.

The logistics of finding babysitters, working with my husband's schedule, traveling with people I didn't know, and just the overall doubt of whether or not I'd actually be able to race for two days all started working it's way into this experience. Finding someone to watch four kids during the day and overnight is not an easy task when you don't have family around. Lucky for me, I have friends here that have become like family. I had Friday covered and Saturday night covered, so my husband could come watch us cross the finish line. Okay, the logistics were taken care of. Now it was time to focus on my internal doubts. Why was I fearing this? I've been training for triathlons, I'm in good shape, and I'll be running with my sister.

I reached a point about two weeks before the race where I just wanted to bag it. I didn't want to leave my kids for four days, I felt selfish for leaving, I wasn't going to be home to take care of things, and I decided after my foot injury that long running races were absolutely out of the question. Why would I agree to this?! Besides my sister telling me she'd kill me if I didn't race, I knew that this contrast was happening for a reason. I had some fears to face. This race was going to help me do that! Not only was this going to be a chance for me to experience a new racing event, but it would also help me with fears I have as a wife, mother, and athlete. I was leaving for four days. My fears would be faced head on.

We arrived to Rexburg late on Thursday night. I stayed in a hotel with two women I had never met before. I was worried about feeling awkward, but they were so fun to be around that the fear slipped away, and I hadn't even remembered being worried. I knew it would be a challenge with how I normally sleep. I tried to wear pajama bottoms to bed. Sorry, girls. They came off later :)

It was up and at 'em before 6:00 a.m. Lots of butterflies! I was excited to see my sister. She was bringing Brock (a former student of mine and son of a very good friend of mine) with her. We arrived at the starting line in Ashton, ID. Some teams had already started, others would be arriving and starting later, but we were starting at 8:30.

Mary gave me an awesome necklace that said, "Sole Sisters: Definition of a great run: Sun on your face, wind at your back, sister by your side."

I wouldn't have it any other way!

I was runner three. Here I am running my first leg of the race. 7.5 miles with 3.5 of that uphill. It was a hard leg, but I felt great! Finished in 72 minutes :)

Here we are getting ready for our second run, and having some fun with the other teams. Loved the "Cheeks" team :)  It ended up being at night for all of us but Mary. I was terrified my whole run. It was so dark! The van had to go ahead of me, and all I had was my little headlamp and a cell phone. I actually cried part way through my run. I was glad that one was over!

I'm on my third and final leg! Check out that view behind me (and I'm not talking about the cars). Wish I could have seen that on my run. I was flying through this one, because I knew I was done :) 3.2 miles in 27 minutes. Not bad for no sleep, 2 days of running, and 13 miles on my body already.

I was told the whole trip that I look like Sarah Connor from Terminator when I wear my aviators. Clearly I'm exhausted, because here's my impression of that. Mary doesn't seem too impressed. Give me a shot gun, and I think I'd have her made!

Van 1 is finished! Megan, thanks for being so fun spirited. Mary, for sharing this experience with me. Jenny, for being so motivational (and sharing your husband's sweet driving skills with us), and Sarah for being my x2.

Not only are we "Sole Sisters," but we dress to match.

 Here we are running together to the finish line. I was so moved by the experience: watching Brittney run in on the last leg--facing HORRIBLE heat and rocking it until the end, seeing my husband cheering us on, watching other family and friends cheer for us, knowing we had completed 184 miles...what's a girl like me to do?! Cry. That's right. We've established that I'm a crier. It was so empowering!

  "2 Dozen Scrambled Legs" finished the race! 15th out of 49 teams. Finishing time of 29 hours and 33 minutes. 11 runners completing something together.

I finished! Another new experience. Better yet, Ethan came to cheer us on at the end. It was the first time we've been away together without our kids since moving to Wyoming. Two years! Never again. He's too important :)

Oh, and that fear? Gone, long gone. This experience helped me find the balance between self and others. My kids survived, the house didn't fall apart, and I did something for me. It's natural to feel fear, but it is uncomfortable for me. I know this. This race showed me that I can accomplish great things for myself when I face my fears head on. How can I fail when I do that?

                                                               ------------------------------
I just took a break and cleaned out my office. I came across a card Mary gave me two years ago that had this awesome quote (perfect timing, as always).

"I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself. I am here cheering you on all the way." 

That's what this relay was all about: doing something for ourselves, but all of us cheering each other on all the way :) Thank you to my husband, my children, my sister, all my teammates, family, and friends for cheering me on.

I know my story isn't anything special or unique, but it's mine. My hope is that it reaches those who need it the most.  ~To those moms who struggle to make time for themselves or feel guilty for doing so. To those women who are trying to find their own way to empower themselves. To those husbands who need to know that their support matters. To those who just want to go for it. To those who are on the same path and want to know you're not alone. Know that I'm here cheering you on all the way. ~

Cheers to all of you!
Sarah (aka Mom of Four)

Here is a video of our team if you're interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcfE5FiH9zI

Back to Sharing!

I have had two major races happen since my last blog, and I'm so excited to have some time to share them with you. I just completed the Grand Teton Relay (post about that to come soon when I get all my pics). I finally got all my Go Fremont County Triathlon pictures uploaded, so here I go...

No Better Way to Celebrate!

The Go Fremont County Triathlon was hosted on July 30. My birthday is July 31. This was my golden birthday year as I turned 31 on the 31st. Somehow I knew this was a time to celebrate. I had wonderful people come into my life that week. Ethan's family came to visit; my good friend, Theresa, traveled many hours to come race with me; my sister and her boyfriend came to watch the race.

This is the SWEET camo bucket my husband completed the night before my race. I was exhausted, and ran out of time to make my super cool bucket to match my camo themed race. What a guy! I'm so thankful for such a great and supportive partner. I later found out that he didn't like the white rim at the bottom, so he stayed up even later, and covered the rest of it. It even has a pad on the top for me to sit on!

Race day came, and I was so excited. My first triathlon was full of nerves, but this one was all excitement. Maybe because I knew lots of people :)

I had two goals set for myself. We can't create what we truly want if we don't set the stage to create it!

Swim time, baby! I felt so strong in this swim. It was longer than the Cody Triathlon swim, but it felt good. I look at this, and still can't believe I've done this for myself. It's also cool to think that we all start somewhere, and we each get to decide where we go from that point. I like where I decided to go :)

Transition to the bike. I've learned that pulling on thick bike shorts over my wet legs is just not productive. Time to change that up. Huge bonus this time...I remembered to untie my shoes BEFORE the race. No swear words this time. See, there's always room for improvement.

OMGosh! These bike shorts do nothing for my back side. Glad I decided to buy some thinner tri shorts. I can wear them in the pool. Time to find another race to see how much faster my transition time is (and if my butt looks any better).

 This was a HUGE highlight of the race for me. This was the first time Ethan saw me race. It was so cool to see him in the last leg of my run and get that high five. Something I'm starting to understand and be more grateful for is that we have the power to create on our own, but there are VIPs that help us bring our creations to life. I have the drive to train, and I want these awesome experiences for myself, but my husband is a VIP in the formation of these experiences. His support gives me the extra boost I need to be the best person I was put here to be. My sister is the one taking these pictures, and she pretty much rocks my world, too. I have lots to say about her when I blog about the Grand Teton Relay.

Me with my VIP :)

 I finished! I'm crying again. Yep, I'm a crier. Why? Because, I met one of my goals, and that was to finish in under an hour and 30 minutes. I finished in 1:27. This was 7 minutes faster than my Cody Tri, and this was a longer swim plus my chain fell off during my uphill climb.

It was so cool to be greeted by my husband, sister, and my dear friend at the finish line.

There she is! Theresa and I sportin' or cool buckets. She rocks :) Who else would travel 17 hours (supposed to be 12, Theresa) to spend a week with our family so we can race together. She's on the VIP list, too. She was my inspiration to start racing tri's. Thanks, Theresa!

Here's another VIP. Brittney and I have been getting up early together and training a couple days a week. She rocked it! It was her first tri. She overcame a huge fear of swimming. So proud to share this day with her. I have more bragging to do about her when I blog about the Grand Teton Relay :)

We're missing a few people in this photo. Kelli Gard (raced pregnant and made me cry when she crossed the finish line with her kids), and Jill Morris (signed up two days before the race because she wanted to do this for herself, and I got to watch her finish). Four of us out of this picture went on to race the Grand Teton Relay. The cool thing is that we're all working toward something. We're all players in each other's goals, dreams, successes. I look at all of these people as inspiration. Thank you!

Time to celebrate. 31 on the 31st. This is my year! What else is in store for me? I can't wait to find out.

Something I read today inspired me to get my blog updated:

"Reality is big, Sarah, but your dreams are bigger. You came first, Sarah." Thanks, TUT! 

Your dreams are bigger than your reality, too. Our dreams and the journey to get there becomes our reality. Use this quote, put your name in there, and see what you can create for yourself! Don't forget about your VIPs. Thank them, send them love, and always be grateful that they are exactly where you need them to be, always.

Dream big!

Sarah

The Race is On!

Today, I was blessed to go on a bike ride with a good friend. On  our return trip, we slowed down to watch a doe and her two fawns cross the road. Life is good and training is fun! We're gearing up for the Go Fremont County Sprint Triathlon on Saturday. I'm ready to race again!

Well, I fnally did it! I finished my first triathlon in beautiful Cody, WY on July 16.

 

Here I am on race day. I look hot at 6:00 in the morning! Thanks for the bucket idea, Theresa :)

I knew I was ready to race. I have been training for a long time to be able to compete. At this point, I was just ready to get going. I was looking around at all the racers, and thought, "How cool is this?!" Two years ago, I would have been sleeping in, mad at the world, my husband and kids for being overweight, having no motivation, not loving myself the way others around me were, and just being miserable without ever realizing how miserable I really chose to be. Wow! I am so grateful for being at that point, because I never would have made it here without having those experiences. What's even more awesome is that I learned that I get to pick how I choose to think and my thoughts steer my path. Believe me, I have my doubts and fears...

 I am smiling here, but the whole time I was thinking, "Can I really do this? I don't want to drown. Please, don't let me drown. Can I bike after swimming this hard? Then I still have to run. What the $%&* am I doing here?" (I'm an honest blogger...lol)

I know that my thoughts become things, and I knew I didn't want to drown or not finish the race, so it was time to pivot. I put the big ol' stop sign up and shifted into a state of gratitude. I started thanking everything that was happening to me in that moment. I had my daughter with me, a good friend willingly gave me two days of her time to travel with me and support me, my body is strong and healthy, and I'm here because I choose this path. Then mentally, I shouted, "Bring it! I'm ready!" Plus, I think the camo swimsuit gives me super powers.

The result? Swam my fastest swim time ever. 500 yards in 9:26. (Thanks Jill for bringing a watch!)

 I was feeling it! I knew my swim time was decent, and my confidence level soared. Cora is supporting me...still melts my heart. If you look real close, you'll notice my shoe laces are tied. Ahhh! Okay, I actually said (yes, outloud and a little panicky), "F***, I forgot to untie my shoes!" Sorry, Cora. Thanks for not repeating that.

The bike ride was awesome! I didn't really know what to expect, but there is something so peaceful and calming about it. My ego wanted me to be scared, but once I went into my "thank yous" and powered my bike in a state of gratitude, it was amazing. I did this! I created this for myself, and I did awesome. We all have this power within us to create amazing things for ourselves. 

Here I am coming in from my bike ride. 13 miles :) I teared up a few times on my ride. Very rewarding!

Time to go for a run! The 5K was my biggest worry, because I wasn't sure how my body would react. I was a little wobbly walking out of the transition, just started jogging lightly, and then my body took over. Finished the run with the transition in 29 minutes. Yes, I'm a little confused here. Wasn't sure where to go. I got it figured out ;-)

On the home stretch! I was crying. I'm actually crying typing this. It was such a powerful and empowering moment for me. I knew I had done it. I was there. I DID IT! Me. Everyone deserves to feel the way I felt in this moment, in this race, and how I feel now.

Done! Still crying and cried afterward :) Final time was 1:34:14. I want to thank Jill for taking all of these pictures. They are powerful memories for me :)

My new goal? Finish the triathlon this weekend in under an hour and 30 minutes. It's not about competing with other people. They are my inspiration. One lady finished in 1:10:something. I could be down about not being as fast as her (that's ridiculously fast by the way...lol), but I am not. This is about me, and what DO I want, not what I DON'T want. I want to push myself a little harder, because I know I can.

Today, I encourage you to recognize those moments when you're experienceing fear, panic or doubt and put up your big ol' stop sign. Stop and pivot. Instead of focusing on what you DON'T want, ask yourself what you do want and be thankful that you can recognize that, you had the power to change your thoughts, and steer yourself on a new path of DO instead of DON'T!

Here's to happy thoughts my friends! Wishing you a wonderful day :)

Sarah

Share the Fat

Another post so soon? I know.
I shared the new blog with my husband, and he thinks I need to share a picture of where I was before this journey started for me. At first, I was a little hurt, because I just wanted him to look at it but not make comments. He explained his perspective (one filled with love and pride for me), and it hit home for me. I have come a long way. He's right. Yes, I said it. He is right. Here it goes...*Gulp*

Here I am at my heaviest, and I stayed here for a long time. That scale teetered dangerously close to my heaviest weight when I was pregnant at nine months. I look at this picture, and I tear up a little. Not necessarily so much of the weight, but the look on my face here reminds me of how miserable I was. Mentally and physically, I was struggling. This was 2008. My journey is still continuing and my adventures are overflowing, but it's good to remember where I started. We all start somewhere. I am so grateful that I can scroll down and see a better me. The "three year mind, body, and soul makeover" was worth every ounce of sweat, frustration, fear, sadness, and exhaustion. Why? Because, I get to enjoy the game now! I find joy in moments that used to make me so angry; I can laugh at situations and not take life so seriously; I can love my husband and children unconditionally; I can feel peace and I can always create more greatness for myself. The weight comes off much easier when the inside is where it was always meant to be.

The old feelings have, do and will continue to surface, but that's for another time. Still getting my history out there!

The difference makes me smile! This is me, and that smile is real (I even have a screaming baby on my hip, but it was still joyful).  Find your joy today in everything you see and do.

On a side-note, I biked 17 something miles today, and my legs felt like tree trunks. Pretty sure I know how that three mile run after is going to feel. Didn't attempt the run today. I'll just save it for race day...lol ;-) Bring on the 16th!

Happiness!
Sarah

The History--Learning to put myself first

I was told that my story is one I should share, so here I go! This mom of four was tired of being fat. 11 years was enough. In 2009, I decided to hit the workout scene. Not much change in weight or mindset, but I was doing it. I was exercising. In January of 2009, my sister, Mary, asked me if I'd run a half marathon in Jackson with her. It was a great spot for us to meet up and have some fun. I hesitantly said "yes." I was still 38 pounds overweight and hadn't run more than 2 miles on the treadmill. The race was in June. I had some time. I trained long and hard for six months. With the help of my husband, I could leave the kids and get 4 to 5 runs in a week. Even though I only lost 7 pounds the whole time, I knew I could finish the race. Finally, it was June! I ran my 12 mile training run 10 days before my race. I finished it! My feet were tired and my body hurt, but I did it. Within 20 minutes of returning home, my foot was in serious pain. I could not walk on it. I was scared, because I knew something was wrong, very wrong. We had to sign papers for our house, and I could hardly walk into the bank. Ethan looked at me and said, "You need to go see the doctor." I just cried. Signing papers in tears, I didn't care. My world was crashing down. How could this happen?! I went to an appointment and then got a scan done on my foot. It was clear that I had torn a tendon, and my running days were over until or if it healed. No healing = surgery. I decided to take care of it, and put my attention to new exercises. No more 1/2 marathons, but I did complete 12 miles. That is one of many firsts for me :) This mom of four was going to have to train some more!

I was told I could bike and swim as long as I kept my foot stabilized. I decided to start training for the swim and bike portions of the triathlon and hope that my foot would heal in time for some summer racing. I took adult swim lessons and started spinning at the gym. I fell in love with both activities and found a new drive and spirit for exercising. I watched my diet closer and started finding myself along the way. With the help of a good man, supportive friends, and love for myself, I have lost 38 pounds, and am in the best shape I have ever been in. 

My training was finally going to be put to use! Here I am with my new road bike that I just got a few weeks ago, and I'm 38 pounds lighter! Looking forward to my first triathlon. Signed up for one on July 16th. Here we go! I finished a 5k over the 4th. I'll blog and post pics about that soon :) My five year old just reported that the four year old was using a knife. Gotta run! It's all about balance. SELF, husband, kids, work. Happy training, friends!

Sarah (aka Mom of Four)